I was just talking to a friend who was blaming herself because of her daughter’s past time in rehab. Her shame was torturing her, even though her daughter is now recovered and leading a productive life. Shame. It’s so real and it’s toxic. It’s what leads us to eat when we’re not hungry or gossip or look to social media instead of our real-life relationships. So often we’re trying to change things about our life that we don’t like without looking at the real problem. We put up walls instead of facing our shame.
There are so many words that Dr. Brené Brown says that need to be said and need to be heard: “You can’t get to courage without walking through vulnerability.” One way that we are vulnerable is when we are honest about our shame. Being aware of the shame we place on ourselves and our “shame triggers” will allow us to become more “shame resilient.”
I love how she tells people to talk to themselves the way that they would talk to someone they love. I need to remember that.